You do not need somebody else’s love to be whole. We’re all on different rides, but they all end the same way. Because to combat that idea, we hold on as fiercely as we can to the reasons we are loved, until letting go is our idea– not theirs.īut we all end up, one way or another, okay. We have to stop thinking that it is, and that when the cards don’t fall in our favor, that it defines some part of us as being unworthy and unlovable. People can love you a little bit, and they can love you enough but not enough to make it work. It’s simply a mindset, one that we have to change if we want to get out. To realize that although we put someone on a pedestal, that does not mean that their judgment determines us. So what we have to learn to do is to accept the love we aren’t given. And if I believe in anything, I believe that we all deserve to be with someone who wants to be with us as well. But the truth is that what you’re holding onto is someone who doesn’t love you enough to put you first and make it work. That’s okay if you want to think that, I won’t stop you. I know many of you are probably reading this conjuring up all the reasons why so-and-so did in fact love you but they just couldn’t be with you for this reason or that reason and why that was so valid and why I have no idea what I’m talking about. I generally believe that people differ so much in their experiences and that no two situations are exactly the same, so it’s difficult to generalize something about love and romance, but I make an exception for this. It just simply is, and we just have to let it be, or not be, naturally. It is not a riddle to be solved or a mystery to be uncovered. Love is not something that requires brain work. Sometimes they won’t even be sure whether or not they love you, so you’ll see them going back and forth trying to figure it out. If someone cares about you, they will find a way to be with you. When someone loves you, you will know it. But what I must tell you is that while teaching myself to climb out of that sadness and attachment-laden-misery, I realized something that is a bit more realistic than optimistic, but so invariably true that it’s worth giving attention to. I also know that there are few issues that will destroy you faster than matters of the heart.
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I do not perch on a high horse preaching this, because I have been in those depths, and I know what it’s like. I think that, at any given point, we are faced with the choice of whether to move on with what the universe gives and takes or to hold on and bury ourselves in our own misery.
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I try to lace my work with optimism because a guiding principle in my own life has been that the most tragic things in our lives almost always precede the most incredible.